A year ago, I achieved a goal that I set out to realise in 2010 when I first started in the industry of corporate restructuring. At the age of 25 I was a somewhat delayed post-graduate seeking a career in the city. I was fresh out of a long-term relationship which meant I had a newfound determination to prove myself and a part of that was the dream of being a Partner. Or at least, what I thought the life of being a partner would be like. 

Looking back on those first few years now, I get a feeling of embarrassment at how I conducted myself, very much playing out the role of someone projecting ‘success’ long before I had learnt how to do the basics of my job.

Fast forward 15 years and I am now at the end of my first year of partnership. Paradoxically one of the key aspects to me achieving this was letting go of the need to be partner and simply focusing on it being an achievement if the opportunities kept presenting themselves.

Somewhat ironically my first week of being a Partner was one of my lowest points in recent years. I fell into a clinical depression which was driven by a perfect mix of fear, change, health scares and other life events.

Fast forward a year, and I am better than I have ever been mentally (following professional help), and all those fears I had of ‘failing’ as a Partner haven’t come true and I am wiser and stronger as a result. 

I have learnt a lot, and I have put together my reflections below in the hope they can support someone else starting this journey:

The transition to a leadership role

Leadership is something we learn early on in our careers as we start to manage and develop juniors, and I had some good experience managing larger teams as I made my way into a Senior Management and then Director role. But I wasn’t fully prepared for the shift that came with partnership. The main points I noticed were:

• You’re no longer just delivering work - you’re expected to set direction, lead teams, and drive firm strategy. This is a good thing if you are drawn to that type of pressure, as largely speaking I am, but it can also be daunting and defeating.
• Making the switch from employee to business owner was at times, overwhelming but I have come to realise that it’s a transitional period that cannot be mastered in the short term. Seeing it as a new career has really helped me take the pressure off getting immediate and instant results. 
• No longer feeling ‘ahead of the class’ and being one of many other partners who are achieving similar levels of individual successes was a challenge. It’s a new role so that’s how I had to start to see it. In other words, it’s not comparable to where I was before, so I had to stop comparing. 
• You’re in the limelight more. People will naturally want more of your time as someone who is seen as a decision maker in the business. Conducting yourself in a manner that is both respectful but relative to the stress of your day (it’s not possible to stop and talk to everyone) can be hard.  

Business development pressure

• Partners are expected to bring in revenue. Building a client base or expanding existing relationships becomes a key responsibility which in and of itself felt heavier than when I was a Director. Sticking to consistent hard work is a great fall back. 
• There can be pressure (mainly brought on by myself) to prove your worth quickly, especially as I was promoted internally. Learning how to hold things lightly and understand that its not going to happen over night or even in the first year, was a huge learning curve for me. 

Managing client expectations

• Managing emotionally charged stakeholders (e.g. distressed company boards, lenders, shareholders) adds an extra layer of complexity to the job. Being the person that staff and clients come to in heightened emotional states adds its own pressure and strain. It isn’t the same as being the most senior employee advising as when you are carrying the brands reputation as a Partner. 

Team dynamics and talent retention

• One of the aspects I enjoyed the most when having a team was mentoring. Helping others unlock their talents and standing side by side when things were getting tough. They say if you want self-esteem, do estimable things.  But to maintain this role as a partner, to help maintain morale under high-pressure mandates, and manage workloads has been far more challenging than I expected. 
• I have found gaining trust and respect from colleagues who were recently your peers can be sensitive. I have also had to find my place in a new group of peers who used to be my bosses. So, there was a ‘no mans land’ period of feeling like I didn’t belong to either group. A slow and consistent approach to integrating into the partner group and finding where I can be of most benefit has paid dividends for my own sense of self. 

Navigating internal politics

• Each firm has its own culture and power dynamics. As a new partner, I was instantly a part of that inner circle and the need to learn how to navigate it effectively arose. I found it best to sit back and take in what others are saying and what the social and formal dynamic is first. Then find where I could add some value to the group and at this point I felt more able to become vocal and find my place. 
• Weighing up collaboration vs. competition with other partners can be nuanced and complex. I have learnt more than ever this year that our firm is one firm, and we rise and fall together as a partner group. But because we are humans, and we are in a capital environment, that there is always some from of passive competitive energy around. This can actually be healthy to help galvanise the group. But it can also be tricky to navigate. 

Conversely, one of the most rewarding things about becoming a partner, is understanding you have influence and a voice that can be used for good, for bettering the environment you're in and for driving the business forward. Being a part of something, with the support of everyone around you, is a really special place to be.